Letter to the Editor
Child support
Published Monday, June 9, 2008
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To the editor:
I was divorced in 1983 and forced to pay child support for two children. Since then, my life has been chaos. With every job I have had, I have had 50 percent of my wages garnished. Last month, I paid my last payment from my tax check. Child support is still taking $216.35 from my check. I have overpaid.
Do I have the right to sue for overpayment or can they just keep expressing their godliness each and every payday? Can I charge interest? Am I once a “deadbeat dad,” always a deadbeat dad?
My kids are in their 30s. I am done. Now ... I am fighting back.
Child support, get off my case and out of my wallet and please don’t ever darken my mailbox again.
Community Discussion
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the mother has 100% of her paycheck going to the kids. But I do hear you. You shouldnt overpay what the court originally told you too.
You can't honestly say a mother has 100% of her paycheck going to her children because that would imply that she herself incurs no expense. I will grant that historically mothers tend to spend more on their children whether divorced or married but to say they spend a 100% is inaccurate. I can honestly say I feel for the men and women out there that do pay child support because I believe the amount taken can be unfair at times and certainly doesn't take into account other factors. I don't believe it is fair to force anyone to spend more than 30-40% of their income to support children when the reality is that each parent should be responsible for child related expenses and child support should be spent to cover child specific expenses, be it sports, medical, clothing, schooling and child care expenses. It doesn't seem fair that a person would pay child support and the spouse recieving the support doesn't use that money to cover the child specific expenses. No one should have to pay to cover expenses a person would have whether they had kids or not (vehicle payments, rent or mortgages, regular monthly bills). I hope that you are able to recoup your over expenditure. Good luck with it...perhaps someday the child support laws will be written to take into account the realitiies of todays world.
OH-Boy
You only pay 20% for the first child and then it gets calculated each child thereafter. You then only pay up to 40% if you are in arrears or have 8 kids. They can't take out more than 40% the debt just accumulates, which is why you still pay after they are 18 (it's the law to stop @40). It's your fault if you were behind. If you overpaid it just sits in their account and they refund it EVENTUALLY. They do not send it to the parent, but they are really understaffed and you may have to email them to get it faster. The kidsline will tell you if you overpaid.
If it were just me and my husband I could get a 1 bedroom house, a lot cheaper than the four bedroom we bought (also think of the electricity, fuel, and property taxes on that more expensive house). The kids don't run around naked and they eat. My husband and I spend 900-1200 a month on food for the kids. We only buy healthy food for them, I can eat mcchickens all day, and could live a lot cheaper if it was just us, since junk food is cheap :). Their college funds, lessons, toys, medical bills, minvan,daycare- My cost of living went up WAY more than 20% due to my children from previous relationships. You think I could get away with only $200 a month to cover the added expenses-daycare alone is 600+. Not to mention TIME to rear them. I cannot go out on the weekends, I can't drink, I can't have fancy things, I can't take vacations (all gladly of course). My exes contribute 56 days a year and $250 a month to fullfill their obligations. Could I get away with the same? Can I just not buy the food or clothes while I change jobs and run a tab? Does the amount my kids need go down when my pay goes down? The custodial parent is not living the life of luxury here.
Just a side note, but it takes $$ to raise children. If you didn't want to spend the money you shouldn't have made the baby. The single parents on public assistance hear it all the time :).
shamahiers -"It doesn't seem fair that a person would pay child support and the spouse recieving the support doesn't use that money to cover the child specific expenses".
What do you mean by doesn't cover child expenses? Do the kids sit there naked and hungry while the mom pays her electric bill and car note? OBVIOUSLY if you have children who are alive, the money in one way or another that you receive will go to the kids in someway. I cashed my chisup check and paid my cable bill with it. However my entire PAYCHECK bought my kids food. I'll spend the check how I want. As long as the children are well taken care of you can assume I paid more that their fathers in the long run :)!
How about my ex-wife remarried and now her household income is 3 times what mine is. Yet I pay 20% of my income to her and her new family. I live in a trailer, they in a new $230,000 house. I eat ramen while she, steak. Dont give me the line "its for the kid" either. By that reasoning if I stopped paying my child would go without something, which isnt true. I am subsidizing my EX wifes life and setting her and her latest husband up for a nice retirement.
And guess what? There is nothing I and those like me can do about it.
Agreeing with Akmommie !
Forget about your kids leaving home at 18 ! Anymore raising kids lasts long into their 20's with college, housing, cost of living.
I see all these younger couples with 3-4 kids, and I can't fathom feeding 4 teenagers!
Call CPS. Good luck fixing this mix up.
Reader 1-
All I am saying is about equity. The leftover money is not an issue, just the amount spent. They probably spend more on the child per month than you pay (extra bedroom, food, clothes, gas to transport etc). All I am talking about is dollar for dollar. My ex pays $250/ month. My husbands expenses before us were $650/month. Mine were $1200 without kids. Now they exceed $3500. Quite a jump for kids that aren't his. He has to work a lot more hours, 2nd job and his "savings" depleted. He doesn't complain. You signed the check when you got in bed.
You misconstrue my meaning and perhaps I wasn't clear - I realize that kids are expensive, I have them myself. I know that without them I wouldn't pay quite as much out as I do monthly. I don't begrudge the idea of child support and I certainly understand the need but all to often I see people working to pay HUGE amounts of child support to spouses that have moved on, remarried and obviously have a better income than the spouse paying the child support. I also know of people who pay the child support and then in turn end up paying all the extra kid related expensed on top of it (the sports, the schooling, the clothing, the medical). That is where I believe child support becomes unfair. All I was trying to say (and rather badly I guess) is that there needs to be a better way to figure child support. In this day and age there are many people with similar incomes divorcing and often one spouse ends up paying the other (usually the man to the woman) even in joint custody situations and the spouse doing the paying gets to sit back and watch the money he or she pays out being used for things other than kid related expenses. It happens all the time. I wasn't bashing the single mom trying to make it work because I know too many single mom's who need every penny alloted to them but I also know that for every mom out there that gets and uses the child support the way it is intended there are some out there that look at it as bonus money and use it as such. I also know that there are several men and women out there that pay child support who live a life with less while they watch their ex live a life with more. To me, that seems unfair. I also say I can sympathize with the gentleman who wrote this initial letter because he has spent a life being penalized for mistakes he made initially during the child support process. Yes he should never have gotten behind but to be honest we don't know the whole story. Is it fair to take half of every paycheck? Is it fair to expect him to live on half an income? All I am saying is that perhaps there should be a better way to figure child support - I do hope this man recoups his overpayment. He has paid his debt and then some, who are we to judge him.
Child support is just that...support. It takes a ton of money to raise a child. If you have one, accept it. Don't penalize the child because you and your mate couldn't hack the program (for whatever reason). I say "Man Up"!!!!
My esteemed x-wife gave-up guardianship, but not full custody of our son back in 2000. The "foster" parents he ended-up with received $1,500 per month for his support through Medicaid, yet she continued to sit back in Galena and collect $400 per month for 7 years. Did she ever send any of this support money to our son, or his guardians??? No. She just used that money to pay for her own expenses, travel & 'cola'.
CSED said that they are only a collection agency and do only what the court orders them to do, regardless. I would have needed to hire an attorney in Anchorage to represent me in court in order to have the support order changed or amended.
Getting down with "your Native culture" is one thing...being an irresponsible drunkard is another, completely. I now know why her mother left all the Land to Joey. Hodzana River, here we come.
wow! i can't believe this guy actually brought this up in a public forum. the LAST thing you want to do is to try and find sympathy or solutions from the public. the "deadbeat" dad is so stigmatized in our society that it is hopeless. did you read what he wrote? the kids are in the 30's... his wages are garnished but the state has been keeping the money since the kids turned 18. it's another form of taxes on a segment of society that has no hope of combating it. i too have had the 50% of disposable income (everything left after all taxes are taken out) garnished. i haven't seen a permanent fund or tax refund check since the late 1980's. you see... my kids are in their late 20's too.... and their mom stopped getting the money garnished from me when the youngest turned 18. for us, when the ex and i split the ex immediately went on welfare. we agreed in the divorce i would pay 100 per month for support (2 children, middle 1980's). but 4 months after the divorce was final the state of washington presented me with a bill for 16,000 dollars. basically... the welfare money they had been paying the ex, they wanted that back... from ME. i've been behind ever since. i've had my wages garnished so heavily that on more than one occassion i couldn't make rent and had to go set up my tent in the woods..... at that point i would quit the job. it's too hard to live homeless (especially in winter) and hold down a job at the same time.
yes i agree, i should get better higher paying jobs... but my skill level is my skill level. believe me i try to get the most i can out there.
yes i agree, i should have never had those kids. we were married and i thought we would stay married forever, but i can't change that now.
if i were you clipper i'd get on getting the garnishment stopped right now. i have heard the horror stories of people who were done paying but continued to have their wages garnished for a long time afterwards, and then getting it back is next to impossible. this child support enforcement organization is a bloated bureaucracy and nothing moves fast (excepting finding the working dad for garnishment purposes). also the enforcement employees are so arrogant and egotistical they feel you deserve to die in the gutter penniless. and the public agrees. in the publics mind the deadbeat dad is just a small degree above that in status a child molestor is. i really admire your courage for bringing this topic up in public... hoorah for clipper!!
Just wondering... all these dad complaining about paying child support, do you spend time with your kids? Is this the same attitude you have over your sons and daughters, that you "have to" do this thing?
If you are REALLY bent out of shape about "having to pay", you can always go back to court, tell the judge you don't want to pay anymore, and be willing to have reduced or no visitation, since you "have to" do this thing.
As a child of deadbeat dad-who still owes me and mom over $25,000 even though I'm well into my 30s- I found it was easier to let my dad off the hook and tell HIM, not the child support department, to never darken my door or mailbox again.
'Forced to pay child support' I don't believe any man or woman is 'forced' to pay an obligation owed. Sad when one thinks of support for THEIR sons and daughters are 'forced'. For what ever reason ones separation is, remember that it is the children involved that are the real victims and the two who created them should both take responsibility in their support. When you fight about support, it hurts the children tremendously and what then do they learn? I have been there, done that, and collected eventually the child support that was due and court mandated that be paid. Was I sorry for his wages, PFD, drivers license being held,no I was not. Was I sorry for what it did to the kids, yes. As I was repeatedly taken to court to have custody taken, for reversale on child support order. All I can suggest, as the judge once said, "is to get your ducks in a row, submit it to CSED, courts, and who ever else for reversal". It does happen and if there is an overpayment it is given back. My advice is to get rid of the attached anger of being 'forced to pay' and get copies of everything together and submit. There are many good parents out there who do not 'squander' the support given, even if they have remarried. There are also a good many parents who have paid the support willingly and then those who are 'court ordered' to do so. Bottom line is to try and not let it get to a point where one feels 'forced to pay'. Keep your perspective on raising your sons and daughters in a positive atmosphere, and that means moms and dads supporting them together.
So instead of you paying back a portion of welfare to care for YOUR kid, the tax payers should? He said he made ONE overpayment. They will refund it. I have been on both ends of the fence. My ex was paying for his 2 prior kids when I was with him. MAN WERE WE BROKE. He would get mad she spent it on boose, but I told him the same thing. If she physically has the kids and they are eating and surviving, she is in someway paying for the kid with the child support. (There are some cases where there is abuse, but I am only referring in general). The tax payers for 100% sure should not be carryin this burden. If she is on welfare and dad or her has to pay it all back I am for that. CSED wouldn't need to be here if non-custodials would pay without being forced.
AK Mommie I agree with you 100%. I have 2 kids from previous marriage and have been remarried for several years with one whild together. I get child support and I swear if I didn't know better I would think Reader1 is my ex-husband. That is his belief that he somehow subsidizes my life with his 798.00 per month (to pay this much he makes 50,000 per year). Yes, I have a better job than he does and so does my husband. Yes, we earn more but does that make him any less responsible for his children? I can tell you when they were younger it cost me 1200 per month just for childcare alone and I have NEVER taken a dime of welfare nor childcare assistance and I am not from a rich family nor did I marry into money, we just work hard. I have done it all on my own, working two jobs if necessary. The kids are older now and while there isn't daycare anymore those expenses been replaced my sports, more costly clothing and a variety of other things. Not to mention my child support has stayed the same for many years while the cost of living as well as my exes income has steadily increased. I do not bother him with recalculation and additional support although I could, what I get seems fair and like I said I am not hurting financially either.
I will also say it cuts both ways. My mom never got child support from either of her ex husbands, they both owe in arrears and one of my brothers is 19 and the other is 27. Both of them work and one even has a trust fund. So, while some of you get caught and have to pay up (in Oregon the can take up to 50% of net income if you are in arrears, varies state to state) others have the obligation on the books but have become quite talented at finding ways to never pay a dime. My stepfather told my mother when they divorced that she would NEVER get a dime from him for support as he knew all the tricks to avoid the garnishment (there are actually organizations out there of men that share tips on how to avoid paying child support), if she wanted his money she would have to stay married to his crazed-abusive self. To this date he has been a man of his word, not paying a dime. Sad because the only one he really hurt was his own child.
I will say that if a mother is spending her child support, welfare or anything else ONLY on herself and her children are without then she isn't much of a mother and should be turned into OCS for neglect.
Re: Polarmark - "we agreed in the divorce i would pay 100 per month for support (2 children, middle 1980's). but 4 months after the divorce was final the state of washington presented me with a bill for 16,000 dollars. basically... the welfare money they had been paying the ex, they wanted that back... from ME."
I've been on both sides of the support system fence. I had children with a deadbeat dad who escaped his support obligation by continually quitting jobs and moving to other states. I made do without his financial support, but it wasn't easy. Then I remarried - a soldier, who faithfully sent money for the support of his two sons.
However, about two years into our marriage, his ENTIRE military paycheck was confiscated (no pay due) - for FOUR MONTHS - to pay back the state welfare office for money his ex collected when she lied about getting child support. The problem was that they made an "agreement" upon their divorce, that he would pay the mortgage on the home she also got in the settlement (which was more than the amount required for child support) in lieu of child support, so that they would always have a roof over their heads.
Because the money he sent the mortgage company (which showed up every month as an allotment on his LES), was not "legally considered" child support, she applied for welfare and checked the box "I am not receiving child support". She was paid a monthly stipend and given food stamps for almost a year before the state caught up with my husband and confiscated his paychecks for repayment.
We immediately stopped the allotment for the mortgage payment, and had to spend thousands of dollars on attorneys fees and transportation costs to get back to the home state for the court hearings to file new paperwork calling future money "child support". We never saw a penny of that welfare money refunded, and the ex suffered no consequences for her lies.
Once the child support system has their hands in your paycheck, it takes an act of God to get them out of it. My husband never missed a payment, but it took 6 months to get the support order stopped when the youngest turned 21 (full-time student). We did get the overage refunded eventually, but it took several letters, many phone calls, and quite a bit of paperwork. Hang in there!
Reader1
Just because another man is willing to support your children, that does not mean you have no obligation to do so. It makes him a father and you a deadbeat. You should be ashamed to expect another man to support you children no matter how much he makes. Child support is calculated on your and your ex's income as it should be.
Having paid child support for four children my problem is when the child changes guardians and the system takes up to 12 months to correct the status than another 6 months to correct the amount being withheld from checks.
Than because CSED delivers the wrong order to the employer you end up on the arrears list when it is not your fault. The system is totally flawed.
I gladly paid the support but when the money is not being spent on the child something is wrong with society.
Custodial parent is only given the balance AFTER CSED pays the agency who provided the assistance - of course that is after it is determined who gets what percentage. So what amount shows in arrears includes what is owed to agency of assistance, being the State of Alaska or other state in which assistance was obtained. So the custodial parent doesn't always get the total amount in arrears. I agree 100% with akmommie that if paid willingly, there would not be the need of CSED for enforcement. As for polarmark statement that "he should not have had his kids" or for any who state that, what done is done and my heart goes out to "kids who hear that or see that in print". How sad. Shame, shame. To those kids who have had to hear, see and live this, I am sorry for your parents insensitivity and irresponsibility in using you as a 'bargining' tool.