Letter to the Editor
Where are parents?
Published Sunday, May 11, 2008
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To the editor:
It was very upsetting to see the picture of the BMX biker in the paper, obviously breaking the posted law of Golden Heart Plaza, “No bicycles or skateboards allowed.” Not only were he and his friends breaking the law in being there, this boy was vandalizing the wall with the placards! Having contributed to some of those placards, I am angry about this!
I do appreciate that the photographer got their names, but will it make any difference that we know who they are? Will their parents take any responsibility for their children?
I have to wonder if this is the same bunch of boys that broke the base of the new statue behind the courthouse before it was even unveiled? Are these the same bikers riding through our neighborhoods, smashing car windows and mailboxes with baseball bats? They obviously have no regard for the posted law.
I have lived in Fairbanks for over 30 years and have seen a lot of this type of thing. Where are their parents? I see these kids on the streets all hours of the day and night. Do you really know where your kids are?
We do not have enough police in this city. Why? Because certain people complain about paying for police service; the same people who complain when something happens and there aren’t any police available! People don’t take responsibility for their own actions or their children’s behavior and then blame someone else when their “precious little darlings” get caught doing something wrong! When are parents going to start teaching their children right from wrong and start taking responsibility for their actions, instead of coddling them?
If the wall was/is damaged in any way from this, will these boys or their parents be paying restitution for the repairs?
If the biker had fallen and cracked his skull, (note that he doesn’t have a bike helmet on during a dangerous activity), would his parents try to sue the city?
Start taking responsibility for your kids and our town! And if you don’t like the laws here, you are always welcome to leave!
Community Discussion
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Isn't there a bike park over by the Carlson Center, or is it just for skateboarding? Seems to me that these youth need to be "shoo'd" from Golden Heart Plaza and sent someplace exciting and safe, where they can have some fun without destroying what others have worked hard to create.
A few years back, my friend's son had a little too much fun on his skateboard and got into trouble. Her son wasn't a troublemaker--just a kid looking to have some fun.
Most youth are just looking for some fun on a gorgeous summer day; let's not paint them all as hooligans just because of the minority of kids who are unsupervised and getting into trouble.
Children are a reflection of the family environment and what they have been taught. If parents and family don't teach respect for community, and following the laws we are to live by, you can't expect kids to do so.
"...will it make any difference that we know who they are? Will their parents take any responsibility for their children?"
Simple answer: No. From the family's responses to other posts on this subject it appears the family is mad that anyone has had the audacty to say their little poopsie did anything wrong. They're supporting the kid in his illegal activity. Wonder if they'll still be supportive if he flaunts the rules in other ways? Or perhaps they teach that it's OK to pick and choose which rules to follow. . .
Why not view this as a learning opportunity? Kids ride bikes. Good. Sometimes, they do it where they shouldn't. Not so good. Making a big stink about it. Crazy. (But it least it sends a message to the kid.)
If we were talking about 25 year olds, it would be a completeley different story. Our youth is meant to be a time to get out there and explore the world, learn right from wrong, recognize that there are boundaries, and become prepared for adulthood. Give the kids a break. Have faith that their parents have dealt with the situation in an appropriate manner-- just as any of you have when you've needed to correct your own children. That is, unless you haven't needed to because YOUR kids have never done anything wrong.
"We do not have enough police in this city. Why?"
Given the size (geographic) covered by Fairbanks and the sparse settlement of our population, it would be financially unfeasible to hire police to patrol our streets in sufficient number and frequency to deter would-be vandals.
One of the best deterrents to crime is the risk of being observed. (I assume that's what Ms. Logan wants additional police for.) Yet we have constructed our city in two ways that *reduce* that risk for wrongdoers:
(1) We segregate retail, commercial, civic, light industrial, and residential land uses from each other, when in fact they are fully compatible. (Heavy industrial uses are rightly kept apart, since the noises and smells are incompatible with residential life. And rural -- that is, agricultural -- uses obviously must be out of the city.) The effect of this is that our neighborhoods are empty during the day, and are occupied only from evening to morning -- and people are asleep for most of that. It is just the opposite for the other land uses: those areas empty out at the end of the day and aren't occupied again until morning.
This leaves every place with a time when it is extremely vulnerable, due to a lack of human presence. If instead we pursued mixed-use zoning, then local businesses and their customers could keep our neighborhoods safe while we were at work, and we could keep their stores safe after they went home.
(2) We embrace the ideal of single-family houses on large lots. The more densely populated the neighborhood -- for those who even have neighborhoods -- the more likely it is that some neighbors will be out on a stroll, sweeping or shoveling the sidewalk, or looking out their windows at the street. This human presence is what writer and urbanist Jane Jacobs (who wrote The Death and Life of Great American Cities) called "eyes on the street". These eyes on the street are an essential part of a city's public safety system. Where they are lacking, criminal opportunities abound.
If instead we were to abandon our vain dream of stand-alone houses with well-maintained lawns (and, to judge by my neighborhood, few really care about lawns anyway), we could live much closer together, much closer to the street, and a little higher up -- say, three or four stories. Denser settlement means more neighbors, and more neighbors mean more eyes on the street.
Public safety is not just something you hire police for. It is something that everyday citizens do, merely by being present. It is a job for everybody -- and it can be effortlessly integrated into daily life. But we must provide the planning framework to help us look out for each other, to make such public safety possible.
If your kids are out running around and you are sitting home, your not going to know what they are doing. If you’re out riding a bike with them, then you can teach them right from wrong.
haven't we all, especially in our youth, broken or bent a few rules? As adults some of us still do on occasion! I am suprised this is raised as such an issue!
Living in a bee hive like NYC do you know the number of locks per door?
I still don’t have to lock my door.
Sorry Paul but if we all live in large apartment complexes nobody would see any crime behind all the locks. Just like NYC nobody would see anything because they live in fear of there lives.
Zero-
Have you ever met a teenager who would rather ride their BMX bike with their parents than their friends? I agree that younger kids need to be with their parents more often than not, but teenagers need a little freedom to explore the world.
allybrat,
There are rules and then there are Rules. Parents need to decide whether their children are breaking the former or the latter. My son broke his arm in the 1980s; had what the doctor called a "green-stick" fracture and didn't tell me he was hurting for about a week. His brother finally "ratted him out" and told us he'd been playing "Evil Knieval" (jumping his bike off a ramp).
I hate to see any kid in pain but they are going to do dumb things and truth be told, I'll settle for that over having my child involved in vandalism at a school or other public facility that runs into tens of thousands (or hundreds of thousands) of dollars in damage.
IUR
Your right teenagers would rather ride their bikes with friends.
They have a BMX track and the Kids (teenager or younger) are with thier parents.
Parents need to do more family activities with thier kids. I can name a lot of activties that I see the kids inviting friends to go along on family outings, and the friends don’t have a problem going. The only problem is that all of the actives require GAS. I have run into some of these friends, and they say do you remember me. They would thank me. I see them doing the same actives. I would hope that they pass it down to there kids.
I already commented on the other letter in his defense. The biggest problem isn't that the kid was doing wrong in the first place. It's bound to happen. The BIGGEST problem, is that the adults in his own family would rather defend him rather than use it as an opportunity to teach respect and making good decisions.
fbksmom-
I think you're making assumptions there. Do you have any idea how the kids' parents handled the situation?
haven't we all, especially in our youth, broken or bent a few rules? As adults some of us still do on occasion! I am suprised this is raised as such an issue!
The issue is the paper used the picture on the front page! Clearly with them breaking the law. To me it is like telling them 'It's okay'. When the photographer should have called the cops. I call them or the property owners when I find the skateboarders on marked property.
If one of those kids had gotten hurt.. here comes a lawsuite.. and don't tell me the parents would not sue. People do at the drop of a hat.
YES, my kid has done wrong, as have I. But I also knew where he was for the most part. When he did get into trouble, I am the one who turned his little punk butt in. He is now 22 and knows why i was always on him. I still call to check on him.
Ridiculous that this is still continuing!!!!!!!!!! Give the kids something to do - other wise shut the heck up!
IUR, the sister-in-law who had posted made it very clear that nothing was this young man's fault. The appropriate area wasn't big enough for him (in his opinion) so he was okay to go wherever he wanted according to her. She also made noises about building am appropriate area & fundraising/city responsibility. It is all there is you read previous posts.
see above.
I have 3 kids from 24 to 16. The first one and the last one are uncontrollable if anyone wants to raise the last one be my guest.
There is no respect for parents in some youth. The middle one is graduating from college next week. If you never had a head strong teenager you don't know what you’re missing!
There are places for kids to go. It's called the Boys & Girls Clubs, Scouts, etc. I used to work for the Boys & Girls Clubs and we tried to get the community interested in building a bike and skateboard park. Nobody wanted to get involved due to insurance costs. I often see where citizens say build something for our kids, but not in my neighborhood. Our kids need mentors and guidance from all of us.
Princess-
The letter was from the aunt, not the parents. I am very capable of reading, thank you. Again, I ask, how does anybody know that the kids' parents did not handle the situation appropriately? How would you feel about strangers critiquing your parenting skills without knowing the complete story?
I realize that you must have been raised by a king and queen, but does that give you the right to speculate if others are raising thier kids in keeping with YOUR standards? When your kids get to adulthood without making any mistakes whatsoever, then you may criticize the mistakes of others' children.
IUR, you REALLY need to work on reading comprehension. I said it was the sister-in-law & that is actually correct. Also, I didn't criticize anyone, I just restated her position. I haven't even critiqued you, so I do not understand the hostility here.
As for the 2nd paragraph... I was raised by the most wonderful set of parents ever. I happen to appreciate that.
Fortunately, it isn't your right to delineate MY rights.
Have a lovely day.
Princess-
I am referring to the other letter to the Editor in today's paper regarding the same topic. Is that what you are alluding to when you discussed a post by a "sister-in-law"? I made the assumption that she was the aunt of one of the young men in question. She is, regardless, not his parent. I can find no post or letter from the parents of the kids that state, “We feel they’ve done nothing wrong.”
Admittedly, today is a new day, but from your previous posts, I expect nothing but hostility and righteousness from you. I apologize if you are intending to address me in the spirit of helpfulness and only intend goodwill toward those working to raise responsible teenagers, regardless of the mistakes they may make.
Hi allybrat!
Why dont people get a life and leave this kid alone he didnt damage nothing he made a little mistake so get over it and leave him be he was just trying to have fun. As for the newsminer why dont you do some real reporting and quit dragging played out drizzle into this so called paper
"asking for my husband’s brother" = sister in law.
If you will notice I have dropped out of the contentious arguments for a few weeks now. I decided it wasn't worth getting in arguments with people who will never see from a new viewpoint or convince me to see the world from theirs.
I have intended to keep my posts criticism free & I think I have maintained quite well, with just a few small slips. I have primarily stuck to minor clarifications & attempts to inject brevity.
I in no way expect anyone to pay attention to my postings, however I would prefer not to be castigated for something I am not currently doing.
If you are expecting something, it won't be from me. I am finding it preferable to keep my comments (snarky or righteous) to myself. This way I can read the comments, think as I please, close the page & put the negativity away... Leaving the scrapping to anyone who wants it. Enjoy!
Son of my husband's brother = nephew. I assumed a minor did not have an unlisted number or answering machine--- that they must have belonged to his parents.
Your 2:56 post must have been one of those slip-ups. My posts in response to everyone else are usually pretty measured-- you must bring out the worst in me.
Give the kids something to do! We give them no where to go and tell them to stay away from everything. Then we wonder why they get into trouble. A skate park is not enough.
http://www.newsminer.com/photos/2008/may...
For those that want to see the picture.
OMG! Really. When I was a teenager it would have been awesome if all my mom had to worry about was me riding my bike or skateboarding on private property. Were none of you teenagers? I thought this article was going to be about those little 6 year olds you see out all the time in South Cushman roads without their parents. I am not saying that they shouldn't be "shoo'd" away, but to cast bad parenting stones...wow!