Letter to the Editor
Remembers racism
Published Sunday, April 20, 2008
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Stumble It!April 15, 2008
To the editor:
This is in response to the letter sent in by a distraught father over the racial abuse his young daughter received. It hurt me to read about this. The writer is my uncle, his daughter is my younger cousin. They are honest, kind, and upstanding citizens. Even if they weren’t, no one deserves to be a victim of racism.
He is a good, loving, protective, and responsible father. His children reflect his goodness. I’m sure hearing that his daughter had been a victim of racism, hurt him deeply. His daughter had not experienced racism like this before.
I worry for the young kids, because racism scarred me. For some reason, I’d always believed that I invited it. I would wish I had worn better clothes, that I conveyed my goodness wholeheartedly with no reservations and no missteps, that I was a perfect person with enhanced knowledge, and sometimes even that I wasn’t me.
Now, I wish the people that said hurtful, ignorant words, could meet me and find that I’m forgiving, understanding, and never oppressing. I live in Washington now, where I have friends of different backgrounds.
Diversification! Such a freedom to be who I want to be! I actually talk about my culture and they say, “Dog mushing? Trapping? Really? Your dad sounds like he was a great man.”
I’m naturally a shy person, and always hesitate to put myself out there. While living in Fairbanks, I found it hard to befriend anyone but my relatives. I fear that is racism in retrospect, my fear of being repeatedly rejected slowly diminished my intense need to socialize.
Fairbanks seems to be behind in diversification, and I have all faith that someday my children may not feel the way I once felt.
I’m sure Calvin was hoping for that too. To all: Community thrives in all places and all races. I’m experiencing a new, once-daunting, culture, and I have so much fun discovering new ways to see things, do things, and say things.
Community Discussion
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Toughen up, be proud of your culture, fight if necessary. But, choose your battles carefully. I am realistic and would only turn my back on those who I know, those from my culture.
But, I do have friends of different races, good friends. But, I sure as heck am not going to be a fool and expect great things from ALL strangers.
I am realistic- I am educated with a degree, have several businesses, friends I have earned from past experiences and a common culture. But, I am open to learning other cultures and races, in fact, I am fascinated. But, I was raised to have self-respect and not be a dish-rag. I can understand this opinion I am responding to, But, it seems passive, almost victim like. I can't be like that, makes me feel queasy, where's your guts?
No matter who you are or where you go "someone" is not going to like you or agree with you. As a middle aged (younger)Athabascan I can say I have encountered my share of racism in the FBKS area but nothing very extreme and feel fortunate about it being less extreme. What I am seeing though through this new way to comunicate via news miner online commenting is that there is a lot more racism than I thought. I don't know how much of the community is really being fairly represented though but am pretty taken back at how often race comes up on this site and the degree some comments go to, not to mention how many comments get deleted!
Comments in the on-line paper are a poor reflection of the community at large. Those of us who comment tend to be more outspoken than the norm, and many rely on the anonimous nature of on-line communications to write things they would be mortified to say outloud in public.
Yes, there are many racists in our worlds, among all ethnicities, religions, social classes, cultures, &c. Fortunately, most humans are at least a little smarter than that.
Sorry to say, most people tend not to be smarter than that, since most people experience racism. It can victimize both its perpetrators and targets. Sometimes it's blatant and overt, and at other times,it goes completely under the radar. In any case, it serves to limit options and freedom of choice. It is a very real phenomena, and it is oppressive.
Those who perpetuate the more subtle forms of racism seldom recognize that they are doing so. Our culture has demonized racism, and many individuals who would otherwise consider themselves equitable and rational are unsettled when confronted with their own racist assumptions and behaviors. Perpetrators of racism can fight becoming victimized by first acknowledging that, they too, are adversely affected by having reduced choice and range of options. We need to understand that racism is pervasive in our society, and that probably all of us have been affected by it. We should allow the possibility that racism has impacted some of our assumptions and behaviors.
People may be targets of racism, and become outright victims when racism finds its most vicious and ugly expression. People are also victimized by racism by being continuously exposed to subtler forms of it during the course of their lives. In our culture, racism serves to isolate and exclude one group from another group. For those who are targets of racism, long-term exposure to it can have a corrosive affect on self-esteem and sense of identity. People can fight becoming victims of racism by refusing to internalize its negative messages.
Racists are ignorant slime, IMHO.
Moralizers and generalizers are tedious and self serving, in general.
Fear not, most are trying to rise above old "everything different than what you have been raised as is bad"
mentality, but the scum also rises.
That's why we scrape it off the top and let the dogs eat it.
No matter what else you believe or like to believe, humans are developing as urban techno-beings and many of the old "what's out there beyond the campfire with the red eyes" will be with us for a long time.
It's simply that old mechanism, survival of the fittest.
Take a little less umbrage by realizing that humans are taught to vastly over-rate themselves as a species in modern Western civilization.
Think raw, unbridled capitalism without brakes, the whole survival of the fittest thing again.
We've pretty much infected the entire globe with that notion and now the super resistant bugs are rebelling as we presumed to have dominion over all.
Rather like bringing a knife to a gunfight as we're finding out.
Same to be said for our social structure as we slip into food and energy riots and overpopulation for our sins of over-consumption.
Knives at a gunfight.
Those meatballs at that Anchorage radio station did a fine job of reflecting those shallow thoughts they were raised in, rather like Dan Fagan being given undeserved stature as an oil company apologist/commentator(?).
Most of us think for ourselves Jessica Wilson, the few who mess it up will always be with us if only to remind us of how ignorant and primitive we once were.
Hang in there.
As a Nuyorican who has had the good fortune to travel and live amongst many different kinds of Americans I will share with you two things that I have learned.
1. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." - Anonymous
2. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
Oh, by the way, I've been reading the Constitution of the United States of America and I have yet to find where the Founding Fathers intended for us to live without being offended.
Cogratulations glacierles!
You *do* understand that bigotry is a bad thing!
I'm so proud of you.
Now, if only you could apply that to ALL peoples. :-)
Ugonzo;
Quote#1, doesn't quite tell all the truth.
I know several white men whose mothers told them they were worthless when they were children. These men have had self-esteem issues all their lives, even with therapy.
I'm sure they were hurt more from the words of their mother, than if she had hurt them physically. And it's because she was a blood relative; and therefore, much more to be believed.
Quote#2. I'm glad for this one, which I too, was going to suggest. I hope the natives frame that quote.
There is another anecdote: A holy man in Asia, who happened to be seated in a place worthy of his eminence, was frequently insulted by a man he did not know; nor was he known to the man. This man would curse and insult the holy man; but the recepient of this verbal abuse would not respond in kind.
Finally, his attendants could stand no more. They asked the holy man why he didn't respond to the hateful man.
The holy man replied: "He's trying to give me a gift, which I refuse to accept!"
It would help the natives enormously, if they talk in groups. I strongly suggest that they form a "talking circle".
For the natives who are unfamiliar with talking circles, here is a way to get one going:
Go to a meeting place, and spread chairs around the room in a circle. Bring an object such as a stick to pass from one to another. This object may be decorated. The person holding the object, will start to speak. It may be about anything, but usually it has some interest or value to the listeners. Racism would be an excellent topic.
Usually, in talking circles, there is the use of sage. The sage is passed around, and one takes the sage, and allows the smoke to permeate and cleanse their "auras".
Have, or attend lectures about racism. All sorts of speakers may lecture about racism. Clergy persons, elders of your cultures; teachers of color, who have dealt with racism all their lives; teachers who happen to be caucasian, who could inspire the natives.
The object is for them to be comfortable in their own skin.
Classes in assertive behaviour would help them greatly!
When someone tries to belittle you, nothing -- and I do mean NOTHING -- frustrates them more than failing.
People with low self-esteem often try to 'tear down' those they see as being better than themselves. They don't see any way of improving themselves so they try to make themselves feel better by dragging others down.
If you display a quiet confidence that simply deflects their efforts to belittle you, they are stymied and fail to reach their goal. At best, they will give up or move on to another victim. At worst, they will escalate their efforts, at which point you should defend yourself vigorously, in court if at all possible or physically if (and only if) absolutely necessary.
A reasonable amount of self-confidence also puts you in a position to defend and help other victims of belittlers.
I realize this attitude doesn't have a lot of compassion for the people doing the belittling. However, realize their problem is THEIR problem and there's not a lot you or I can do to change them unless they're willing to change. The only thing we can really do is deal with effects of their problems and, if necessary, close them off from the rest of society.
Amen!
And this should be taught to the natives especially while they are very young. It may have to be repeated over and over and over, until it is like a mantra!
GOD DOESN'T MAKE JUNK!
elder - I assume you're referring to my comment. If so, I learned that from my father, my mother, and an Anishinobe elder.
For those who have self esteem or self confidence difficulties -- look yourself in the mirror every morning and say, "I am a good person and I will do all I can to make myself better today."
Some people just don't realize that they even sound racist even when they are trying to help! Crazy! Just because people experience racism does not mean they suffer from self esteem issues! Some of you assume too much and group an entire race into one small catagory! Its just amazing.
2pennies - I walk with a limp and suffer frequent pain because two intoxicated young people tried to run me down with their car. Why did they try to run me down? Because my skin is a different color than theirs.
Friends of mine have blown their heads off because people kept telling them they were no good.
Other friends have been murdered, apparently because someone thought they weren't Christian. (Is Catholicism a Christian belief?)
Throughout my 20+ years in the Air Force, my job has often been made more difficult because people I depended on, coworkers and subordinates, had their confidence eroded by bigots.
Red or yellow, black or white, I nailed racists of all colors whenever I could make a case against them. Male or female, you were in trouble if you exhibited a sexist attitude around me. I grew up around a significant amount of religious prejudice but have always tried to treat all beliefs with respect.
Unfortunately, I wasn't always in a position to fight the bigotry. Then, the only thing I could do was try to help the people who'd been driven into the ground by racism, sexism, or religious prejudice.
If you think my comments were aimed at a particular group, you couldn't be more incorrect. Prejudice of all forms is a poison that affects everyone, in various ways and to various degrees. In a way, I pity bigots because they don't realize what they are missing out on due to their closemindedness.
Griff_in_Fairbanks;
Thank you for your contribution. I, for one, would love to read your life story.
I hope the natives are printing all the help we are giving.
After printing, they should spread the word among their people.
The talking circle is just one way.
It has been used among various groups. Talking helps. It exposes what is decayed, to the light. And the light heals!
I should have added, previously, that the talking stick is passed around, and the one who holds the stick may speak without interruption.
Some Indians, and Alaskan Natives experience racism more than others. In other words, the darker they are, the more prejudice! Our society favors the "goodlooking", which usually translates to Euro-Americans. Unfortunately, this holds true in Mexico, and other countries south of the border.
So the natives, imho, must work constantly, to believe in themselves: that they are equal to all God's creatures; and that equality is their God-given right! But above all, that The Almighty doesn't see our color! (That is supposed to be what the followers of Jesus, the Christ, believe).
Griff, my problem in the military is when a person demands they be treated different then everyone else because of their color. They never say it out loud, but they silently demend everyone bend around their rules. If its too hot to them the heat gets turned down. If they want something done this way or that, it is, no questions asked because you cant risk offending them.
While the rest of us are polite and tactful with each other, certain others can behave however they want, as if they are entitled to be able to act that way.
You also have the problem of little racial cliques that are formed. These little groups form regardless of peoples rank and then favoratism develops. In my experience this trend is more prevailent in people of color.
This country does have have a problem with racism. But its not the simple "racism" many think it is. IMHO, most whites are "over it" and really dont care about color. But I for one am tired of the "silent sense of entitlement" that has developed and is tolerated in our society.
Elder,
Believe it or not, your words have already been engrained in our hearts and souls before you even uttered them. It may not have been within us while in our mothers womb, but I believe the cultural happenings have been felt. I.E.: listening to beethoven = Baby Einstein. Although studies on Baby Einstein indicate otherwise, a beleif we have for example is that our children associate the drumming to our mothers heartbeat while we were in their womb.
I'm sure you meant well with your words, but to be totally honest with you, you are actually insulting our cultural intelligence. I am "speaking out" and standing strong against bigotry and unfortunately recognize your helpful attitude to rest comfortably in the ignorant aspect of racial issues. I wouldn't want for you to face another elder and suggest the ideas you placed for us to follow.
Reader, of course you are entitled, as we are, to your opinion and it's great that you are "over it". One brings to mind "lady justice" and her scales. Weigh in the amount of racism that many non-whites have endured, and compare them to the amount the other race has endured. I am comfortable in assuming that the other race has not been subjected to very many and/or harsh racial bigotry.
It's actually up to us to stand strong together, and it's comforting to know, that many Natives are gaining the experience and education that have put British Imperials up on a pedestal educationally when they landed on North America.
To Jessica, you are not alone in this, and keep that chin up and stay strong as we always have quietly. Our belief that what comes around goes around is reaching it's potential. Everything will be alright in the long run. This experience you have had is a fuel to strengthen you and when you receive more, think this.. "Give me more of your abuse. I can sustain more than what you have given me, I am strong inside, and getting stronger for our new generation. Your bigotry is fueling my strength."
Peace.
Thanks for your comment Jess. I talked with my daughter and she is doing okay. I will continue to talk to her and let her know to believe in herself and to understand that she can't change what people think of her, but she can be a better person by her actions to those who would belittle her or try to cut her down. I too have tried to forgive those who done stupid things to me or mine. I wanted to point out that Reader1 is right, most white people are not racist, just like most people are not racist, but the actions of a few speak louder than the actions of the many. I wanted to bring some light to what I have experienced in my life. Granted this is just a bit of it, but it is my experiences that have defined who I am today. My parents moved her when I was 13. I have had a beer bottle thrown at me while walking by AIH during a saturday afternoon, the guy also yelled some racist remark when it missed me. I was hit by a car door while walking by AlaskaLand with a friend, the sound of the teenagers laughing still haunts me when I walk. I find myself always walking as far away from the street as I can. There were numerous times that people yelled racist stuff at me while I was walking. Most of those things don't happen now, but they still make me wonder why someone would go out of their way to do those things to a young kid? I was 13 when I had the beer bottle thrown at me, I was 18 when I got hit by the car door, and the last time someone yelled racist stuff at me was about 3 years ago. I'm still here and I still believe in the inherent goodness in most people, but the few who do those things make me wonder whats in store for my kids? Thats what worries me. I hope and pray that we can find a common ground and just get over the petty things which seem to pop up. Peace.
Nutty, if I am reading what you typed correctly, you are saying that its OK for a people who have traditionaly faced bigotry to behave how they want, and it will even the scales if I face some bigotry?
I think thats exactly what you think. That the scales will even out somehow if society gives minorities special treatment now to make up for the past.
I would argue that no, thats not right, in fact its wrong. You will create more racists that way.
Reader1, I have some comments about what you wrote, but my lunch hour is up so I'll have to wait until after work.
I completely agree with you that racism is not simple. In my life, I've found no other issue with the complexities and subtleties of racism. It is so pervasive in American society, so complex, so full of innuendo that it is perhaps the most difficult aspect of American life to fathom.
I wrote before that racism affects everyone, whether they are perpetrators or targets. It is also my strong belief that anyone can be both a perpetrator or target of racism. Being white doesn't automatically make a person a racist. Being a person of color doesn't automatically make a person a non-racist.
I completely disagree with you that whites are "over it" already. Oh my God, do I ever disagree with you.
I'll have to wait until I get home to write more, though.
Traditionally facing bigotry doens't make sense. Traditionally facing bigotry in definition is having had this inherent belief in us. I think you meant to say having faced bigotry through years amongst non-natives.
The operative word in the scales paragraph was "weigh in". Not, evening out the scales on "special treatment". I have accepted the fact that minorities will never be viewed as equals when it comes to social acceptance amongst many non-native settings in this decade.
I und