Believe it or not, nice guys can finish first in business and in life with no dilemma

Published Sunday, March 30, 2008

A recent Harvard study found that nice guys really do finish first. Martin Nowak, author of the study and director of the evolutionary dynamics lab at Harvard University, worked with 100 college students to determine who would do the best when playing a “punishment heavy” version of the game Prisoner’s Dilemma.

The game was originally formulated by psychologists decades ago to study whether people would cooperate or compete when placed in a difficult situation. In Prisoner’s Dilemma, two people are “arrested” for robbing a bank. Each “criminal” cares more about gaining his own freedom and little about the freedom of his accomplice. Knowing this, a prosecutor tells them both, “You can either confess or remain silent. If you confess and your partner doesn’t, then you will go free and your partner will get a lengthy sentence. If you stay silent and your accomplice confesses, then you will do the jail time. If you both confess, then you’ll both be convicted with early parole.” But, if neither confesses, then the lawyer has a weak case and both would get short sentences.

They have a limited time to make their choice. Clearly, the best, self-serving option is to confess if you think the other person would remain silent. But, if you both confess, you face a far worse outcome than if you both remain silent. The game presents a conflict between an individual pursuing what’s best for himself versus pursuing what’s best for the group.

In Nowak’s experiment, dimes were used to reward or punish. If players cooperated, they each won a dime. If they both defected, they received nothing. If one cooperated and the other defected, the “cooperator” lost 20 cents while the “defector” won 30 cents. Nowak’s version also included a punishment option. Players who didn’t cooperate could be forced to pay 40 cents if the person requesting the punishment was willing to pay 10 cents.

After students had played the game more than 8,000 times, Nowak found that those who punished the least made the most money, while those who punished the most made the least.

Successful students figured out that punishment failed to offer real rewards, while cooperation led to the biggest gains. Students who pursued conflict and used punishment to try to get ahead were the biggest losers.

Nowak has yet to see how his findings play out in corporate America. In the real world of business, do nice guys really finish first? According to Russ Edelman, Tim Hiltabiddle and Charles Manz, authors of “Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office,” the answer is yes. They affirm that you can get ahead without being a jerk. Unfortunately, many people believe “that being nice is bad ... and they overcompensate with selfishness, intimidation, and intense aggression.” Then at the other end of the spectrum are those who “suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome, held back from higher levels of success by being too selfless at work.”

They established what they refer to as the “Bill of Right for the Nice Guys of the World” which includes the following:

• Self-awareness

Know your strengths and weaknesses. Be truthful about your own reality instead of burying your head in the sand. Determine for yourself the validity of criticism. Discern your own truth and leave the rest.

• Speak up

Have an opinion and let it be heard. Be direct and honest without fear of judgment. Refrain from the compulsion to have a solution for everything.

• Set boundaries

Define your own boundaries and honor your own interests. Require others to respect your boundaries by asserting yourself.

• Confront

Confront others directly and honesty. Be willing to disagree. Respond with integrity and emotional intelligence. Channel the discussion toward a successful outcome or step away.

• Choose

Make choices without guilt and define the conditions by which you make your choices. Refuse to settle prematurely and proceed only under terms that are acceptable. Walk away, if necessary.

• Expect results

Be accountable to others and yourself. Accountability must be based upon timeliness, ethics, quality, and fiscal integrity. Expect others to follow through on their commitments and hold them accountable.

• Be bold

Be willing to push the envelope by stepping out of the box of others’ expectations. Aim high and risk failure. Place a high value on your goals and priorities. Passionately pursue your dreams.

• Win

Strive to compete and finish first. Receive credit for your achievements.

The three men say that the trick is to realize that “nice is not about being weak or soft.” Instead, it’s a way of behaving that allows you to “hang on to your morals, compassion, and sincerity and still get ahead.”

Community Discussion

Newsminer.com doesn't necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full user's agreement.

Post a comment

Commenting requires registration.

Username:
Password: (Forgotten your password?)

Comment:

Also inside
Today's news / Photos / Local / Alaska / Sports / Opinion
Features
Sundays / Health / Food / Outdoors / Latitude 65 / Youth / Business
newsminer.com
Archives / About / Feedback / Privacy Policy / User Agreement / Jobs / Contact / Feeds / Twitter / YouTube / Bookstore
Submit
Letters to the Editor / Applause / Events / Obituaries